over Michael Phelps’s million gold medals is how sad everyone’s going to be when they take all his medals away because it comes out that he’s been shooting horse semen straight into his eyeballs, or whatever, because dude. Seriously.
Mostly I just want the jerks who have been insisting we watch the OLYMPICS OMG every fucking night at work instead of not watching the Olympics like I want to be real sad, because fuck them.
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