Archive for the ‘LOL’ Category

I like vampires just as much as anyone who like vampires a lot but is still able to regularly make out with people of the opposite sex who aren’t larger, in overall mass, than your typical dirigible. I liked Buffy, and I will talk to you about Buffy for hours, whether you want me to or not. I have read Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter novels. A few of them, actually. I mean, come on. She has guns, is the slave or something to a vampire, is a detective and a martial artist or something, and raise the dead, of course she can, and has vampire powers herself. I don’t know, it’s better than the Mercy Thompson books, where she does all that stuff, but can also turn into a coyote…

BUT. I will not read the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter comics. (And, even though I own the first like 5, I will no longer read Buffy comics, either, because jesus fucking christ I do have standards anymore.) I will totally read these recaps of Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter comics, though, because they are just amazing.

h/t Chris’s Invincible Super Blog. 

I’ll let you be the judge.

(h/t Josh Zhixel)

Where you at?

Where the monkeys at?

Taylor Marsh is everything that is wrong with politics on the internet

(p.s. I hate linking to TNR)

an excerpt:

“I’m working that very hard,” she says of her attempts to get a paid radio job. She’s been scrambling to set up meetings with radio execs, and her listeners have been sending letters in her support. “I don’t understand why they don’t give me a shot. I’ve been marooned in the desert for far too long.”

Spoiler: it’s because you’re untalented and have nothing to offer that will attract listeners.

LOL it thinks it's god

She’s not wrong. She clearly has the support of hardworking Americans who are also white Americans.

Read Her Lips

Snow Workers Local 183

Aw He's a Despot

You can tell that white American is hardworking because he’s rich.

H/t College Park, MD Ikea:

Oh no Swedish

More Real Things from my D.C. birthday trip after the jump.

Continue reading ‘Also a Real Thing’ »

Cooking Mama 2: Dinner with Friends for the DS is, more or less, the most amazing game in the history of the world.

I didn’t play the first one, because I’m an adult woman who would rather rub fiberglass insulation into her eyes than watch anything anime-related, because, c’mon.

But this game is really awesome, especially when you consider that it is a stupid fucking game. It’s a directions-followen gaem, and made for casual gamers, which I’m calling a little bit of bullshit on, because I’ve played it for like 8 hours solid and am nowhere near being tired of it. Plus Mama talks and it’s outrageously funny. In the words of IGN.com, she sounds exactly “like a Japanese person trying to speak English with an Italian accent.”

I’m not going to spoil anything for you by telling you that the number of dishes that will make you go “Oh, yum, I totally want to nom that” is far exceeded by the number of dishes that will make you go, “Oh, barf, are you serious that people really eat that?!”

Overall, this is clearly a better game than Bioshock and Oblivion combined times twelve.

Really. Really?

Travis got way more worked up about this than I did, because he is a man, thus doesn’t spend 88% of his day wondering how he might legally acquire a tapeworm. I was all, “Yeah? Fat girls need fat cream. *I* need fat cream! I need to rub cream on my fat!!!”

Then I calmed down and ate a whole thing of Haagen Dazs Reserve (motto: “When Super-Premium Just Isn’t Enough”) Toasted Coconut Seasame Brittle ice cream, which is the very best kind of fat cream.

(Insert here a rant about how even the thinnest woman can have cellulite, how we’re all offended at the massive marketing misogyny, how we should start a revolution and love our bodies, etc etc etc. I really don’t care anymore, because I’m thinking about ice cream now, and how it’s my birthday week, so I can eat all the cupcakes and ice cream I want. And also how I might buy Cooking Mama 2.)

Re. ‘02 Kentucky Derby winning stallion, War Emblem:

“War Emblem is in therapy. He is isolated from the other studs at Shadai Stallion Station in the hope that he will feel safe and more confident in his sexuality.”

“In nearly five and a half years of contact with hundreds of mares, War Emblem, now 9, has managed to mate with only 70 of them, which is half of most stallions’ yearly output.”

“…the last time it was confirmed that he ejaculated in the company of a mare was in 2006. He did it once.”

““It’s very abnormal to have no sexual interest in mares,” said Anne Peters, the matings adviser at Three Chimneys in Midway, Ky.”

“(said) Dr. Sue McDonnell, a specialist in equine sexual behavior at the University of Pennsylvania’s New Bolton Center… “By separating him from other stallions, he has a chance to become more confident, and the mares around him are so he gets revved up.”"

“Replied Mr. Emblem, when asked what his favorite food is, “Haaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaay!”"

I talk about gay horses ALL the time, but I don’t get front-page bylines (in the sports section, but still) in papers of record hardly ever.