Archive for the ‘I call them movies, not films’ Category
Rather, I feel like I should be able to sue my public school system for allowing my slackass to graduate despite never taking physics, chemistry, or geometry.
I should be able to sue for $300+ million, to be vaguely precise. You know, the prize money the inventor of John McCain’s magic electric car battery will win. And clearly, had I taken high school level physics, chemistry and geometry, I would be that inventor. Because, you see, I am really good at inventing stuff, except for the part where I don’t know what the fuck I am talking about at any given point. (Plus all my ideas center around magnets, which are far less powerful than your space pen that balances on its point may have led you to believe.)
(Also, this is really interesting. GM is rehiring EV-1 people to work on the Volt, the battery-driven “hybrid” car. If you haven’t seen Who Killed The Electric Car, you really, really should. It’s important. Though Atlantic Monthly is a fucking liar in this piece: “GM’s EV1, an all-electric technological masterpiece that had done so poorly commercially that GM wound up crushing the cars amid a hail of public condemnation.” That line is a goddamned fucking lie. GM crushed the car from concept on, and purposefully failed it commercially, and literally crushed the cars despite laundry lists of people who would pay through the nose for one of those beautiful space-cars. This doesn’t mean I’m not excited on a few levels for the Volt.)
I’m sure Marc Guggenheim said some other important crap in this interview, but I’m most looking forward to this:
OK, what’s cool about Green Lantern? Why Green Lantern? And we always come from that place, which is an incredibly useful thing to do because you don’t want Green Lantern to be a generic superhero movie. You want it to be all the things you expect when you buy a $10 ticket that says Green Lantern on it.
(emphasis mine)
While I’m back in 2001 I intend to warn my past self that dying one’s hair Aquaman blonde will yield absolutely nothing in terms of one night stands. Also, invest heavily in Apple and Google.
People in the movie: Look at us, see our horribleness? We are just awful! Hear us shriek and scream and be terrible!
People watching the movie: Oh, we are soooooo baaaad because we luuuuuurve this, even though we know it’s the worst thing ever.* Let’s go get a yogurt because we’re women!
*To be fair, this sack of shit did get a slightly higher good tomato rating, or whatever, than What Happens in Vegas, which is something of a shocker, because all things SatC are HPoTStMmEBLgfsDSGjs.
P.S. I hate everything.
That’s the 56th thing wrong with the new Indiana Jones.
(At least 50 of the other wrong things are related to aliens.)
Previously I didn’t care about this dopey movie for kids one way or the other, but it turns out that the Keen on Jesus Crowd have their panties in a bunch over it. (Btw the linked story was the first result of like a billion on Google, I am teh lazy).
Their main problem with it seems to be that it expresses (brace yourselves) an “atheistic worldview” in much the same way that those dopey “Chronicles of Narnia” movies express the “God is so l33t” argument.
That’s how you know your point of view is rock solid, in my opinion. When you feel wildly uncomfortable any time anyone questions your beliefs.
But won’t SOMEONE think of the children? I guess that’s what Catholic priests are for, huh? Oh, wait…
on the scale of Coen Bros. movies I can be bothered to watch it falls as such:
- Big Lebowski
- O Brother
- this movie
- Fargo
- Hudsucker
- Raising Arizona
- Big Lebowski again
So really, overall a worthwhile moviegoing experience. I was really taken with Josh Brolin’s performance, as I had never really been interested in seeing him do anything prior to this. Although it looks like he was in the Goonies and I just forgot. Oil well.
Tommy Lee Jones is also awesome in this, but he’s Tommy Lee Jones. The real star of the movie is Texas, which is rightfully portrayed as the most backwards and creepy place on the planet (possible exception: Hampden, Baltimore).
My highest recommendation to see, especially with a date. It’s a romantic kind of movie.