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Via CamdenChat:

The Orioles are close to reaching an agreement with free-agent pitcher Mark Hendrickson, and an annonucement could be made early this week pending the results of a physical.

Hendrickson would be joining his fifth organization since breaking into the majors with the Toronto Blue Jays in 2002. The 6-foot-9 left-hander is 50-63 with a 5.07 ERA in 215 career games. He was 7-8 with a 5.45 ERA with the Florida Marlins this season.

- MASNsports.com

The Orioles pitching staff is like Obama’s cabinet. Players in theory, but unable to produce positive results or enact any kind of substantive change.

Or something like that.

Of course, it had to be the BBC doing the explaining.

Warning: Features Facts That Wouldn’t Make it On To American TV

Meanwhile on American TV news, John Stossel expects people to found their own private fire departments.

Arianna Huffington gets it right re: the ‘free market’

You’ve come a long way, baby.

Today I thought to myself

“I’m not sure how I feel about C.H.U.D.”

What have I become?

“Picking winners and losers in Washington, D.C., is a dangerous thing to do when you’re talking about a system that supposed to be based on free enterprise,” said Palin. “When you talk about rewarding for work ethic and good management decisions and then consequences are the results of the opposite of that, and those decisions lead to some mistakes that are made in some industries, taxpayer bailouts should not be looked to as the be-all, end-all solutions.”

“…what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.”

An excellent comedic outing featuring softcore porn involving John C. Reilly and an Ana Gasteyer look-alike (who is in fact the chick from Crossing Jordan).

Independent Women’s Forum
(where, in this case, “Independent” means “Really Hates Using Tax Dollars for Anything Other Than Killing Brown People”)

Man, I swear, there’s an ass for every seat.

Is that sexist of me to say?

Well, that didn’t take long.

Here we’re treated to some of Stewarts’ trademark “oh look at me skewering both sides” humor which have made him the tepid go-to political humorist for people too young to like Mark Russell but too milquetoast and suburban to like Patton Oswalt. We LIEberals sure got told!

P.S. In fairness, it is kind of funny to call Steve Doocy a lady.